Victim, abuser and freedom

Note to Readers:

1.We tend to exclude ourselves from the old human pattern of abuser-victim, since we feel that those strong terms are best reserved for the big scenarios of life, such as the holocaust or genocide or even domestic violence. However my experience, both within myself, and working with many others, has been that the abuser-victim pattern is an ancient, widespread human phenomenon, and need not refer only to violence at the gross physical level. It can and does, equally manifest in subtle ways within us all.
2. When we turn on the news we see ample evidence of the gross physical manifestation of this human pattern. And for many of us it is disturbing, and brings great sadness and despair over our collective fate.
3. My response in such a situation is to turn within, with a simple question. - How am I participating to sustain this pattern at this time? Consciously or unconsciously, greatly or in a small way, obviously or not so obviously. Over the years I have found that this approach not only dissolves the despair and fear but also opens up radical new possibilities for life within and without. For in the end we are each different, but not separate. So with deep love I share my experience and offer a suggestion in this poem.
4. This is meant only for those with whom it resonates. It is not a suggestion to explore something that you are uncomfortable exploring.
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the unresolved victim
is the abuser
and the un-admitted abuser
remains a victim

in this realm
of recognition
things are not linear
but elemental

in this realm
of recognition
there is no time
and there is no space

one relationship
here and now
is not separate from
another relationship
there or then

in this realm
of recognition
degree matters not
only deed;
the smallest
act of aggression
is not separate from
the biggest
damage done

in this realm
of recognition
gross matters as much
as the very subtle;
the slightest
act of aggression
is not separate from
the most obvious
damage done

when we let
this in fully
we can stop
fracturing ourselves
into little pieces
across time and space
abuser here
victim there
abuser then
victim now

when we let
this in fully
we can see
the extent
of our participation
in everything
good and bad
at all times
then judgement
can let go of us
and what remains
is love
love for our humanness
love for all humanness
love for frailty
love for strength
love for everything
pure unadulterated love

when we let go
into this love
we are transformed
and so is our world

sanity is restored
clarity regained
joy rediscovered
well-being reborn

see if this resonates:
allow the abuser
and the victim
to be seen
within your own being
no judgment required,
fall into love,
and free us all
that much more

Intellect and Consciousness

Intellect is but a tool
in the hands
of the consciousness
that uses it

History is replete
with examples
of very intelligent
criminals and aggressors

We celebrate intellect
without regard
for its impact
in our world

We worship intellect
without attention
to its potential
for harm

Now I am not even
speaking of
the glaringly obvious
transgressions

Now I am speaking
of errors of omission
rather than
commission

Apparently intellect
does not always
care to
examine itself;
its motives
and its agendas

Apparently intellect
is too afraid
to encounter
its own limitations
too smug
to conceive
of their possibility

There is no dearth
of intellect
on our great planet
right now

Yet we have not
solved the most basic
of our problems
with any consistency

Sure things have changed
here and there
Sure we can
ascend to great heights
then descend to
great depths
Sure we have eradicated
one disease here
only to find another there
Sure we have stalled
poverty here
while transferring it there
Sure we have abolished
slavery here
while introducing bondage there!

The greatest Intellect
can still come
from tribal consciousness
that seeks
to maximize the interests
of one group
without any regard
for another

The greatest intellect
can still miss
the indelible connection
between each group
and each one

Our planet
at this time
stands testimony
to our tribal consciousness

Clearly I am not
speaking only
of tribes of yore
but modern ones;
tribes that come together
around an idea
a cause, a purpose
an interest, a mission
tribes that come together
as one group
while putting themselves
outside another

For a while
it works
as tribes transcend
personal egos
to care for another
within their tribe

For a while
it works
as tribal consciousness
evolves from
individual ego consciousness
as a step
towards the more inclusive

But we have
too much uncomfortable
evidence now
that its days are done
for us individually
and collectively

And yet
tribal consciousness
cannot exit
tribal consciousness
on its own;
it does not have
so much power

Something larger
must intervene
to break us out
of our orbital looping;
Something beyond
our limited selves
something I call Grace

As it does with
individual ego consciousness
so it does with
tribal consciousness
Grace takes us beyond
an obsolete paradigm
and opens us
to something new

We can join
the movement of Grace
We can choose
to be opened
to its wisdom
inside us

We can join
the movement of Grace
We can choose
to see clearly
to examine deeply
what is still
unseen and un-examined
within us

We can join
the movement of Grace
and allow it
to guide our intellect
and coax it
out of its
self-imposed captivity

We can join
the movement of Grace
and say yes
not to change
here and there
but transformation
that leaves
nothing and no-one out

Giving and Receiving - Part 2

What we give may be material or immaterial
What we give may be in kind, word or deed

We don't simply give what we are giving
We also give how we are giving

We don't simply give what we are giving
We also give the attitude with which we are giving

We don' simply give what we are giving
We also withhold what we are withholding

Externally we may be giving one thing
Internally we may be giving its opposite

When we give with our whole being
we receive simultaneously in full measure

Be aware if your giving
separates you from the receiver
Be aware if your giving
comes from pity or disdain

Be aware if your giving
reinforces your position
vis-a-vis the receiver's
aggrandizing the giving
lessening the receiving

Ask yourself also:
Would you like to be
on the giving end
of what you receive?

Ask yourself also
Could you be
on the giving end
of what you receive?

In receiving
there is gratitude
in giving
there is joy

Each one of us
gives and receives
This is simply
the sacred way of life

As human beings
it is our great good fortune
to be able
to see
to realize
to know
and to be
the one movement
that is both
giving and receiving

Giving and Receiving - Part 1

Here's a powerful question
that transformed
my life
ever since
it began
asking itself
inside me

Would you like
to be
on the receiving end
of what you give?

Not a new question
but still radical
always relevant
and profoundly revealing

Too simple for you?
look again
perhaps you might
tap its potential
this time

Would you like
to be
on the receiving end
of what you give?

Would you like
to be
on the receiving end
of how you give
how much you give
when you give
why you give
and to whom you give?

This question inside
has been relentless
not permitting me
to rest on
a single rosy instance
when my answer
might be yes

For it is not interested
in yes
It is more concerned
with no
when the truth is no
even if
we find one no
for a hundred yesses

When this question
falls on fertile ground
it is seen to be
completely non-judgmental
driven by love
love of truth and freedom

For we are never
more empowered
or empowering
than when we are
in truth

So thanks to a courage
from grace beyond
when we can be honest enough
to come upon that no
and explore it
without fear
and with curiosity
the question opens us
to depths
unimaginable

What we see
with eyes thus opened
humbles us
and brings us to our knees

And yet the question
may stay
and keep asking itself
till mind opens
and heart explodes
and time and space
collapse
so that giving
is not other than receiving
and giver
is not other than receiver

And still the question
may stay
as a loving reminder
of our truth
transforming us
inside and out
one instance at a time.

Essence

What is it
about air
that can both
caress as breeze
and flatten as storm?

What is it
about water
that can both
flow as stream
and rage as tsunami?

What is it
about fire
that can both
illuminate as flame
and devour as inferno?

The essence
of everything
is free
to take any form,
all form

The essence
of everything
is free,
not defined
by the form it takes

Forms are many
yet not one
can be separated
from its essence

What are
breeze and storm
but air itself?

What are
stream and tsunami
but water itself?

What are
flame and inferno
but fire itself?

What is it
about Life
that can appear as both
you there
and me here?

What are
you and I
but Life itself?

The Gift of "Obnoxious"

Have you known
someone obnoxious?

Let's just say
we all have! :)

I love obnoxious people

In the past
they served
to make me
feel better
about myself

Maybe I am
annoying
but at least
I am not
obnoxious
went old mind! :)

The sheer magnitude
of their atrociousness
allowed me
to hide
from my own
considerable idiocy
which seemed
to fade
only in comparison

Then old mind
was questioned
and it was discovered
that I was
deluding myself

I still love obnoxious people

Now they serve
to show me
what would remain
hidden in myself
but for the grace
of their kind presence

Now they serve
to show me
that they are
none other than
myself

Now they serve
to bring more
of myself
into the light
and love

Thank you obnoxious!

God is

God is outside myself
one half
of the truth
God is inside myself
other half
of the truth

God is everything
one half
of the truth
God is nothing
other half
of the truth

God is beyond this world
one half
of the truth
God is within this world
other half
of the truth

God can be described
one half
of the truth
God cannot be described
other half
of the truth

God is transcendent
one half
of the truth
God is immanent
other half
of the truth

God is formless
one half
of the truth
God is form
other half
of the truth

God is angels and light
one half
of the truth
God is demons and dark
other half
of the truth

One half
of the truth
is not
the whole truth!

Verify this
in your own experience :
anything less
than
the whole truth
feels unstable
incomplete
unsatisfactory

So may we know ourselves
completely
fully
wholly

And in so knowing ourselves
may we know God
completely
fully
wholly

May we recognize ourselves
as a living paradox
beyond understanding
beyond thinking mind

May we live
and
may we act
from seeing
that God is
as we are
and God is
as we are not

In present times

We may draw
from
age-old
spirituality
but we must
apply it
to life
in present times

We may revere
sages and saints
of the past
but we must
summon
their wisdom
in ourselves
in present times

We may heed
the scriptural rules
of the past
but we must
reconcile their truth
with our reality
in present times

We may respect
the holy systems
of the past
but we must
be open
to new beginnings
in present times

We may value
the journeys
of the past
but we must
look forward
to new roads
in present times

This takes willingness
this takes courage
this takes discernment
to see clearly
what is time-bound
and what is timeless

We can know
ourselves
as the timeless
and we must
live our lives
in present times.

Essentially undefined - Part 2

Not defined
by any experience
not defined
by thoughts, feelings
sensations or body
we are
Essentially undefined!

And then
the essentially undefined
looks down
or looks in a mirror
and finds itself
moving as human body
sensing as human body
feeling as human mind
thinking as human mind!

What an amazing miracle!
This is where
this mystery of what we are
is such an adventure!

What is it like
to be body-mind
without being defined by it?

What is it like
to move as body-mind
without being defined by it?

What is it like
to truly express
our unbounded self
through
the limited vehicles
of words and deeds?

What is it like
to manifest our
undivided nature
through and as
individuality?

What is it like
to know our freedom
within the bounds
of human existence?

Then there exists
the delightful possibility
to luxuriate in these questions
and let the answers show themselves
not through ideas
but through fully living
this human life
from
the Essentially undefined

What's on your pedestal?

Who or what
are you putting
on a pedestal?

A person?
A thing?
An idea?

More importantly
why are you
doing so?

From love?
From fear?
From custom?
From convenience?
From a need to belong?
Something else?

Most people
I know
are not too modern
to have their gods,
albeit modern gods,
though they may not
admit to having them :)

What separates
you from your idol?
What separates
you from your ideal?

Have you
had your ideal
for a long time?

Have you had
some ideal
for a long time?

When so much
in life
changes constantly
when so much
in us
changes constantly
what happens
to the distance
between
you and your ideal?

Can you ever
meet up
with your ideal?

Can you point
to somebody
you know
for whom
the gap has closed
between self and ideal?

If not
then does that
make you curious?
What preserves the gap?

If so
then what happens
with those
who realize their ideals?

Worship by all means
and that is beautiful
but if the worship
has an element
of unattainability,
of unreachability
for self,
if the worship
has an element
of intractable separation
from self
then what is the use
of such ideals?
What purpose
do they serve?
Can we really
look inside
and find out?

Worship by all means
at the feet of gurus
or teachers
or sophisticated ideas
or whatever else
but may we do so
while always
leaving open
the possibility
of being that
which we worship

This is what I see:
The gods
and gurus
and ideals
worth worshipping
are the ones
that take you
unto themselves
unreservedly
and completely,
that encourage you
to see in yourself
what you see
in them

The rest
are interested
in preserving
the status quo
of millennia
the status quo
of rigid hierarchy
and divisive separation

Essentially undefined - Part 1

You are not defined
by your thoughts
How could you be?
Thoughts come and go
and you remain
having registered
their passage!

You are not defined
by thoughts
not yours
or anybody else's

You are not defined
by your feelings
How could you be?
Feelings come and go
and you remain
having registered
their passage!

You are not defined
by feelings
not yours
or anybody else's

You are not defined
by your sensations
How could you be?
Sensations come and go
and you remain
having registered
their passage

You are not defined
by sensations
not yours
or anybody else's

You are not defined
by your body
How could you be?
Your body changes
throughout your life
and you remain
having registered
all the changes

You are not defined
by body
not yours
or anybody else's

So you
who are not defined
by thoughts
by feelings
by sensations
by body
what are you?

Check and see
if you are not
the vast everpresent space
in which
all experience arises
all thoughts arise
all feelings arise
all sensations arise
all bodies arise
everything arises
and comes to rest

Check and see
if you are not
the unmoving center
which holds
all movement

Essentially
undefined!
Unbounded!
Undivided!
Free!

Incredibly Blessed

I am incredibly blessed
to have been given the gift
of a guru,
of many teachers

I am incredibly blessed
to have been given the gift
of receiving
life itself as teacher

I am incredibly blessed
to receive
without feeling dependent
to accept
without feeling deficient
to respect
without feeling powerless

I am incredibly blessed
to learn from another
without feeling stupid
to admire another's strength
without feeling weak
to bow to another
without feeling small
to surrender
without feeling overpowered

I am incredibly blessed
to worship at the feet of my guru
to offer deepest devotion
to receive complete munificence
to see him in me
to see me in him
to recognize the emptiness
that moves as he and I

My heart swells
with the deepest love
and infinite gratitude
for the abundant grace
that is everything

Change without fear

There is light
being light
There is darkness
moving towards light
And there is darkness
being darkness
period

If there is light
somewhere there is darkness
The brighter the light
the darker the darkness
inseparable twins
parts of a whole

The way out of darkness
is not more light
The way out of darkness
is also
the way out of light

Something holds them both
equally
light and darkness,
surrendering itself joyfully
to the play
of duality
Ecstacy and bliss result
as do death and destruction
but something indestructible
still does not die

There is no need
to demonize the dark
for that stance
simply empowers it

There is no use
in moving towards
the light
if that move is about
distancing the dark
for that stance
simply sustains it

Like the head and tail
of a dog
light and dark
are connected

Beyond darkness
beyond light
lies the ground
beckoning us
to its wondrousness

From here
springs joyful action:
being with darkness
being with light
being with things
as they are

From here
all things arise
From here
spontaneously
without force
all things change
without need
and move
simply for the love of it

This is
the most powerful
of all
Change without fear

Positive Thinking and Truth

We are encouraged
to think positively
and to be positive
especially in the face of
life's difficulties

And we can do that
by all means
if it works
till it works

I was drawn
to the positive thinking
school of thought
and it helped me
in many ways

The biggest service
it provided however
was to bring me
to its own limitations

Positive thinking
may be preferable
to negative thinking
for most people
but let us not forget
it is still within
the same paradigm
and this paradigm
has limitations

Don't believe me
check it out
in your own experience
check if positive thinking
brings you
lasting satisfaction
check if positive thinking
can ever address
negative thinking
except temporarily

The good news is
there is something
way more reliable
durable
and solid
than positive thinking

And that potent something
is truth

I am not talking
theory or philosophy
metaphysics
or theology
I am talking
of something
more real
something that we
experience directly

We try to freeze truth
and make it something
permanent like a goalpost
and so we miss it

Truth is not a static thing
but rather dynamic
flowing like a river
It is what is unfolding
moment by moment
impossible to capture
in words or images
and yet eminently available
and accessible in
direct experience

So when life presents us
with difficulties
and we feel swamped
sad, frustrated, angry or hurt
we can look to the truth
for deep contentment
and for effective empowerment

But the truth is ugly
you say
truth is cancer
and truth is death
truth is pain
and truth is misery
what good is this truth?
how could it be satisfying
or empowering?
you ask

I can't deny
that truth is not
always peaceful
and positive
and loving
and good

Truth can wear
different faces
it does not
conform to our ideas
of what it must be
that is why it is truth
and not theology
or philopsophy;
those are our ideas
of truth

Our ideas are
very important to us
we make up
our whole world of experience
from them

And it is humbling
to really see and get
that truth does not
agree with our ideas
Things that "should not happen"
happen all too frequently

But what would something be
if we could drop
all our ideas
of it
about it?

This is radical
for the human mind
for we are so used
to looking
to our ideas
to see and understand
reality

What would something be
if we saw it simply like it is
without any overlay
of idea or belief?

It would be the truth
undistorted
and this truth
dear friends
is so deeply resonant
at a cellular level
inside us
that we don't fear
anymore
how it appears
on the outside

This is the grace of truth
It enables us
to enter eternity
from this moment
as it is
It enables us
to be free
inside human experience

This is not linear
what is being spoken of
but rather
multi-dimensional
This is not leaving out
thinking mind
what is being spoken of
but rather
including and transcending it

When we are not
so invested
in our ideas and beliefs
we can recognize
this human self
to be an expression of truth
we can recognize
every moment also
as an expression of truth
and meet it
with eyes and arms wide open

Then we can address
everything
not from fear
for ourselves
but from the freedom
for everything
to be as it is

If we want
we can
open to the possibility
that this moment
is more than
what we think
and feel
about it

If we want
we can
examine the reality
of the deeply entrenched belief
that this moment
must only be good
or safe or happy
or positive

If we want
we can
stop making
the short walk
from a bad idea
to a good idea
and contact
the naked truth
instead

Perhaps it is time?
to risk being counter-intuitive
to venture into the lion's den
to embark on a most exciting adventure
to greet this moment
simply as it is

The Paradox of Unity

Our intellectual understanding of unity
simply cannot touch
its reality

The only way to know
this amazing unity
is to live it
to be it
to allow the understanding
to seep below
and around
and beyond
thinking mind

Thinking mind
makes unity,
also called oneness,
into a mere idea

Thinking mind
is brilliant
and powerful
and limited

In thinking mind
unity or oneness
can become a perspective
that seeks to include
everything

In thinking mind
unity or oneness
can aspire to be
the largest perspective
which embraces
every other

This is noble
but unity is not a perspective
not even the largest
possible perspective
It is below that
around that
beyond that

It is the same as
nothing
go figure!

It is the same as
everything
go figure!

It is the same as
something
go figure!

Or we don't go figure
we simply soak
in this unity
and let it be absorbed
into every cell
of our being

Till we can see
every unique thing
in this world
including our self
without losing sight
of its seamlessness
with everything else!

Till the I
that can see
is not other than
the seeing
nor anything seen

Till even separation
itself
is evidence
of unity
and not counter to it

And this foolish
inadequate attempt
on my part
to describe unity
is just more evidence
of the humorous
astounding
paradox of unity :)

Active Meditation

There are many ways
to meditate

There is only
one goal
of all meditation
if we could call
it that

The goal of meditation
is to let go
of the idea
of being the one in control

Not because of what
letting go brings
to the meditator

But because
of the truth
revealed in
letting go

If you have
not been drawn
to meditate
very much
see if this
appeals to you:

Whatever you are doing
give yourself wholly to it

Yes even that which
you don't want
give yourself wholly
to that too
Give yourself
to the not-wanting

Whovever you are with
give yourself wholly to them

Yes even those who
you don't want
give yourself wholly
to them too
Give yourself
to the not-wanting

If this seems too much
start simply
notice the thoughts
and feelings
that prevent you
from being present wholly

Simply notice them
without judgement
There is no need to judge
anyone or anything
for a while
And if judgment should arise
there is no need
to judge the judgement

Active meditation
is this
being present
to what is here
wholly

It is not something
we need to strive
to do
It is actually the
natural state

May we discover this
in ourselves

More truth

Too much
trying to be perfect
Too little
being truthful
about one's imperfection

Too much
value on perfection
too little
value on truth
around imperfection

Too much
struggle to feel better
Too little resting
in the natural ease
underlying struggle and ease

Maybe what we need
in the world
is less of trying to be perfect
and more truth
in seeing what we are
as we are
imperfect and perfect

Faith and reason

Faith is not about
attaching to a belief
Much less about
blindly attaching to a belief

Faith is about
suspending disbelief
even for a moment
So that old ingrained ways of looking
make room
for a new possibility

Faith is about dislodging
rigid attachment
to all beliefs
And being the wide blue sky
Open to what arises

Don't pit faith against reason
as though
they were enemies!
They are mother and child
not foes
True Faith is the openness
that allows reason
even the reason
that does not allow faith
Faith bears even
the child
that turns against
the mother.

Don't pit faith against faith
as though
they were rivals
for the attention of God!
They are brother and sister
not foes
True faith
is the wide embrace
that holds all faiths
in the lap of God

True Faith is
Presence
beyond faith
and reason

Inseparable

Hey you
apple of my eye
delight of my heart
essence of my being

There is nothing
about you
that can miss
my love

There is nothing
you can tell
that I
wouldn't hear

There is nothing
you can show
that I don't
want to see

There is no
darkness anywhere
untouched
by my light

And yet
you may remain
dark
if you wish
you may hide
if you like
you may run
if you please

There is no choice
you can make
that isn't
mine also

There is no dance
you can dance
that I won't
dance with you

Dearest one
remember this
when it is time
and know your home
as the inseparable
where you and I
reside as one

True self interest

When I care
a great deal for myself
and very little for others
it is only
temporarily satisfying
because
all too quickly
I end up
feeling lonely
and disconnected
from the wellbeing
of the whole

Equally though
when I care
a great deal for others
and too little for myself
it is only
temporarily satisfying
because
I end up
feeling disempowered
and depleted
and less than whole

True self-interest
lies not
in one or the other
but rather both
caring for oneself
and caring for others
but not because
this sounds like
a good idea

Looking from
the sophisticated head
this caring for both
is balanced, logical
and attractive

Looking from
the sophisticated head
is not enough
it is only
temporarily satisfying

It is possible to
venture outside
our comfort zone
venture outside
our automatic response

Look from the heart
Look from the experience
in the heart

True self-interest
is for the benefit of
true self

True self
is the whole
True self is not
just the union
of two separate beings
- myself and other

True self
is myself
as the other

How can suffering exist
in a world
of true self-interest?