Victim, abuser and freedom

Note to Readers:

1.We tend to exclude ourselves from the old human pattern of abuser-victim, since we feel that those strong terms are best reserved for the big scenarios of life, such as the holocaust or genocide or even domestic violence. However my experience, both within myself, and working with many others, has been that the abuser-victim pattern is an ancient, widespread human phenomenon, and need not refer only to violence at the gross physical level. It can and does, equally manifest in subtle ways within us all.
2. When we turn on the news we see ample evidence of the gross physical manifestation of this human pattern. And for many of us it is disturbing, and brings great sadness and despair over our collective fate.
3. My response in such a situation is to turn within, with a simple question. - How am I participating to sustain this pattern at this time? Consciously or unconsciously, greatly or in a small way, obviously or not so obviously. Over the years I have found that this approach not only dissolves the despair and fear but also opens up radical new possibilities for life within and without. For in the end we are each different, but not separate. So with deep love I share my experience and offer a suggestion in this poem.
4. This is meant only for those with whom it resonates. It is not a suggestion to explore something that you are uncomfortable exploring.
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the unresolved victim
is the abuser
and the un-admitted abuser
remains a victim

in this realm
of recognition
things are not linear
but elemental

in this realm
of recognition
there is no time
and there is no space

one relationship
here and now
is not separate from
another relationship
there or then

in this realm
of recognition
degree matters not
only deed;
the smallest
act of aggression
is not separate from
the biggest
damage done

in this realm
of recognition
gross matters as much
as the very subtle;
the slightest
act of aggression
is not separate from
the most obvious
damage done

when we let
this in fully
we can stop
fracturing ourselves
into little pieces
across time and space
abuser here
victim there
abuser then
victim now

when we let
this in fully
we can see
the extent
of our participation
in everything
good and bad
at all times
then judgement
can let go of us
and what remains
is love
love for our humanness
love for all humanness
love for frailty
love for strength
love for everything
pure unadulterated love

when we let go
into this love
we are transformed
and so is our world

sanity is restored
clarity regained
joy rediscovered
well-being reborn

see if this resonates:
allow the abuser
and the victim
to be seen
within your own being
no judgment required,
fall into love,
and free us all
that much more