The question is: What do I really want?
I want peace
I want happiness
I want fulfilment
I want love
Perhaps you found an answer similar to the ones above?
For the purpose of this post, let's just take the first one: I want peace.
By now we have seen quite conclusively that there is no such thing as a perfectly accurate prediction of what actually happens in this moment. Right?
So this moment may express itself as peace or war, as comfort or suffering, as anger or love, as hatred or joy, or anything else. Right? The truth is we don't know. So when this moment manifests disturbance or suffering of any kind, how does that relate to our wanting peace? In other words, when we want peace, how do we experience the suffering of this moment? Do we experience it as not having what we want? Check your own experience. Find out what comes up for you when you want peace and this moment brings suffering. Be totally honest with yourself. Explore gently.
If you discover that your experience is of not having what you want, then I would urge you to return to the question: What do I really want?.
You ask: Why?
Perhaps to see that this question has no answer.
Perhaps to see that whatever answer the mind comes up with will leave you wanting - either because your want shifts, (previous post), or because there is always the possibility that something may come up which is opposite to what you want.
Perhaps to see that in the very idea of your wanting something, you put it at a distance from yourself, you separate it out from you.
Perhaps to see that what you really deeply want is this moment as it is. No matter what it brings.
Perhaps to see that you are what you want.
Discover for yourself.