Monday, December 15, 2008

What am I really seeking? - Part 3

The question is: What do I really want?

Answers arise:

I want peace
I want happiness
I want fulfilment
I want love

Perhaps you found an answer similar to the ones above?

For the purpose of this post, let's just take the first one: I want peace.

By now we have seen quite conclusively that there is no such thing as a perfectly accurate prediction of what actually happens in this moment. Right?

So this moment may express itself as peace or war, as comfort or suffering, as anger or love, as hatred or joy, or anything else. Right? The truth is we don't know. So when this moment manifests disturbance or suffering of any kind, how does that relate to our wanting peace? In other words, when we want peace, how do we experience the suffering of this moment? Do we experience it as not having what we want? Check your own experience. Find out what comes up for you when you want peace and this moment brings suffering. Be totally honest with yourself. Explore gently.

If you discover that your experience is of not having what you want, then I would urge you to return to the question: What do I really want?.

You ask: Why?

Perhaps to see that this question has no answer.

Perhaps to see that whatever answer the mind comes up with will leave you wanting - either because your want shifts, (previous post), or because there is always the possibility that something may come up which is opposite to what you want.

Perhaps to see that in the very idea of your wanting something, you put it at a distance from yourself, you separate it out from you.

Perhaps to see that what you really deeply want is this moment as it is. No matter what it brings.

Perhaps to see that you are what you want.

Discover for yourself.


linty said...

Maybe that is what real peace is: allowing this moment to be as it is. Being at peace with whatever is here in mind, body, and circumstances..being at peace WITH the suffering brings an ahh. A quiet subtle joy that when checked is always there. And while I may prefer things, feelings, etc. to be other than they are that wanting doesn't cause suffering(not too much anyway).

That is my experience anyway(when I remember to check--haha).

It seems too simple but maybe that is the beauty of it, and the beauty of everything: simplicity.

Ameeta said...

Dear Linty - Yes yes yes!

This is my experience too - a quiet subtle joy that when checked is always here, and even through difficult times.

It is really simple and the mind is not happy with such simplicity. It loves complexity and being able to solve and fix and delve into things. And that's it beauty and power.

But it's delicious when the power of mind can no longer obscure the simplicity that always is.

Thank you so much for yor beautiful simple and heart-piercingly honest sharing


linty said...

Yes, delicious is the word for that. Like a break in clouds and the sky is seen to have always been there and now the clouds whether stormy or not don't have the same is always seen(or felt as that quiet subtle joy).
I wonder if there is no end to the depth of that joy?

You're welcome, ameeta. It's truly a pleasure dialoguing with you. It feels kind of expansive this.