Monday, November 17, 2008

What am I really seeking? - Part 1

Bear with me here while I pose some funny questions.

Imagine that the ultimate truth itself came to you dressed up as God and said: I am here to confer a boon on you. You can have whatever you want, if and only if you can clearly tell me what you want.

What would your answer be?

Further, imagine that it is made very clear to you that this offer is open for all time. In other words, there is no expiry on this offer. :-) So no need to rush and no need to sweat.

What would your answer be?

Ask yourself: What am I really seeking? What do I really want?

Stick with this one question. Get curious about it. Discover what arises.

This is a key question. It can laser-focus your attention to that which matters for you.

Feel free to write in and share.

I will return to this in future posts.


Josef said...

Hello Ameeta,

i want to find peace. I want to escape from suffering. And i want to unterstand why my parents are both ill an suffer. I want to understand suffering and i want to get free from suffering. This is my spontaneous answer.

Warm regards


Ron Marson said...

I want exactly what I have now -- no more, no less.

I notice the my restless mind doesn't agree with this. It is always trying to make sense of things, trying to explain itself to itself and others. This too is what I have now, and is very OK.

Not surprisingly, my mind forgets not-OK-ness is OK and suffers. Suffering reminds me that I must not be wanting exactly what I have now. So suffering too, is exactly what I need now.

This is all very confusing. So confusion is OK too, even when it's not.

Bombproof am I. Even when I forget.

Thanks for the question.


PS: Other briefer answers might be:
I don't know what I want. Or,
I already am what I want. Or,
I want to want until I don't.

Ameeta said...

Hello Josef,

Good to hear from you again. Let's look at this more closely. Perhaps this can illustrate how we could inquire into this question of what we really want.

Your answer contains many components. You want to escape suffering, yet you also want to understand suffering. You want peace and you want to be free from suffering. I say you can get more clear within yourself, Josef. Remember what the instruction in our little imaginary scenario is - state what you want very clearly.

As a spontaneous answer, this is good. Now let it simmer some within you. What does it mean to escape suffering? What does it mean to understand suffering? What does peace look, feel, taste and sound like to you? As you dig deeper into your own answer, bring your mind and body into the inquiry. By that I mean, notice the thoughts and feelings in the mind and also notice the sensations and movements in the body. It is almost as if the mind and body dialogue with each other and you are listening in. A lot can emerge from this that you may not have been aware that you were thinking or feeling. Let the depth of longing reveal itself to you. Don't settle for anything less than a full response within yourself.

If you like, do what I suggest above and write back to let me know what shows up for you. Take your time but do as I suggest. No need to rush - remember this is an open offer. And we can continue this conversation for as long as it takes. If you'd like to email me directly, you can do so at Then, later, and with your permission, I can share the transcript of our conversation in a future post. If you would like to continue posting your replies on the blog, that is fine too. Either way, Josef, I am here for you for as long as you like.


Ameeta said...

Hello Ron,

Here's a suggestion:

If you'd like to look into this question, then get really clear about what you want. If multiple answers come up at first, sit with them and see if they support each other or contradict each other. Not so much analytically, but in terms of how aligned they are inside of you. Look at the assumptions within the words of your responses and look into the truth of those assumptions.

Another thing: yes, everything is ok - so suffering is ok, confusion is ok and forgetting is ok too. But that is only the partial truth. It seems like there is something else within you that keeps showing up that perhaps believes that ok is not good enough. Is that right?

If so, look there. Don't let the 'everything is ok' mantra deflect you from what is true for you in the moment. Go there and don't be afraid. The okness won't go away, it will only settle more deeply into you.

So ask yourself: Is everything really ok for me? Is that really true for me right now? Or is there another belief here?

Do this first and see if this is not part of the response arising to this question of what you really want.

Like I said to Josef, do what I suggest and feel free to write in, here or directly to my email id. I am glad to continue this conversation for as long as you like.

Josef said...

Thank you for your kindly offering and the time, you are spending for that. I would be stupid, if i would not use it. I hope, my english is good enough for that. But lets try :-)

You will hear from me soon.

Warm regards


Ameeta said...

You are very welcome, Josef.

Chris said...


Loving this blog quite a bit! I love the way you express this. Hope I am not too late here :-)

my spontaneous answer was that i want life to simply flow, to be at ease and peace with whatever arises. I want calmness and especially to know Truth. I realize this is more than one thing but actually they all tie in to each other if you see what i mean.

Thank you for this blog!

Chris from Montreal

Ameeta said...

Hi Chris,

No, you're not late at all. :-) Thanks for your post.

Beautiful - you say you want especially to know the truth.

I take the liberty to add a few words to that statement, only to illustrate what I am saying here:

You want to know the truth of what you are.


Imagine that the same God which asked you this question only did so to show you the answer. This God is everything everywhere, including you. So it's like standing in the middle of the ocean wanting to know the ocean, and where do you start? You start right where you are. You don't start with the wave a mile out, or even the ripple by the side. The sacredness of the I that you believe you are, is that it serves as the means to know what you truly are. The everything knows itself as and by the something. And the knowing happens as the something dissolves into the nothing that is everything. :-)

Chris said...

Hello Ameeta and thank you for your answer!

It seems to make sense to start right from where I am here in this body. I have had this question for a while now, which is why are we here in a body,and for the most part not knowing who we really are, which according to the spiritual teachers, is Awareness or Consciousness (or any other word)? Why go through this apparent "seeking" and not just be born with this knowing? You seem to have answered this with your reply, if I read you correctly. It is just to know ourselves ?

And if there really is no "me", who or what is wanting to know this truth of my being? Is it simply Consciousness wanting to reveal itself here? Coming out of hiding, so to speak?

Sorry for all these questions, which I realize is probably more mind stuff, and the answer is not to be found in the mind, as so many have said.

There is a feeling here that it is very true that the little ."me" doesn't exist but this has apparently not hit home yet :-)

Ah so many questions. Hope this is not an inconvenience!

I will continue reading your wonderful blog Ameeta!

Thank you

Ameeta said...

Chris - thanks for your kind words.

Yes - we might say that to all extents and purposes, the separation arises so that the unity may be experienced. And we may think of this as the higher purpose.

And we may also say that the separation arises to experience itself! And this is simply the joy of being.

Perhaps we can think of it as being the adventure impulse in us? After all why do we fling ourselves out of airplanes and hang by ropes down mountain-sides? We are curious adventurers and this adventurous curiosity is an aspect of the oneness. It must manifest as separation to fulfil the curiosity, to know itself. :-)

No incovenience at all. Please write again if you'd like. You can also write me directly to my email id.

linty said...

This is quite tasty. As are the comments and dialogue.

This is a question that has given me fits for so long: what do I really want?

I could name many things and have. If I really look at this deeply enough I can see that all the things I've named that I want(material or non-material) all are really--underneath--pointing to the same thing. I think ___will give me this. I think ___will give me that. But underneath all those wants and what I think they will give me is peace..the end to struggle.

What I want is something permament...something that doesn't go away when times are good or when times are bad(especially when times are bad).

This is the confusing part..kind of. A part of me still has ideas or shreds of hope that someTHING will give me this. Like if I could only have x amount of money than I'd be secure and at peace, etc.

It's hard to get past having hope...hope that things will get better. I have felt the peace and it is here all the time..especially with things being bad. But..but..the mind still clings to the idea that that isn't enough. That circumstances will always be bad and I have to do something about them.

A part of me just wants a normal comfortable abundant expansive there anything wrong with that? Who wants to be broke all the time? Who wants to struggle constantly?

Another part of me knows this request doesn't go deep enough. Some deeper pull/whisper says to let even this want go. To let it all wants go and then see...