I am

We live
so much
of this precious life
in I should
rather than
I am

I should be there
but instead
I am here

I should
be doing that
but instead
I am
doing this

I should
be feeling that way
yet I am
feeling this way

I should
be that person
yet I am
this person

We may not
be saying or thinking
I should
but we may
be driven by
its energy
inside us

I look
at this tendency
here in myself
and learn much

Actually it takes
so much effort
to deny
this moment
and go into
the past or future

The mind
has to keep producing
I shoulds
to keep us away
from reality
It is hard work!

What reality
does I should have?
Look at it
for yourself
Is there
anything solid
about I should?
Is it not
wispy,
imagined,
ideated?

I am not talking
philosophy or
theology
but rather
what is most practical
and can be
observed
within oneself

What is
I should
except a thought
in the face
of I am

I am
by contrast
is real and solid
I am here
I am doing this
I am feeling this
I am

We insist
we are
not happy
with I am
and we say
we know
what I should be
instead

I ask you
are you
truly satisfied
with I should?
Is anyone?
Is it not true
that we just keep
replacing
one kind of
I should
with another
in order
to avoid
the I am?

I say to you
I am
is not static
or inactive
as we fear;
those are our untested ideas
about I am
The truth is
quite the contrary

In my experience
I am
is centered
restful
dynamic
alive
perfectly ok
with what is
in each moment

In my experience
I am
is driven to act
not for perfection
but from it

Give yourself a break
and everyone else
around you too! :)
Rest in I am
Discover its truth
and its power

Death and dancing

When we have
eyes to see it
we realize
that we are given
everything
so we may
open deeper
into living,
not an imagined life,
but true life

True life
that does not
begin with birth
nor end
with death

True life
that does not
skim the surface
but plumbs
the depths

of its oceanic self
to discover
that most precious pearl
- our humanness
our tenuous existence

for what can be
truly alive
that does not die?

And when we
put our arms
around dying
a million small deaths
everyday
we are dancing
in the lap
of life!

Living Silence

How to be in silence
somebody asks

and the response arises:
it is simple

don't say anything
that you are not
100% certain about

if you take that
to heart
and follow it
rigorously
why then
silence will be
all that is left

Everything around you
may be noisy
as ever
but silence
will be
your experience
amidst the noise

Then how can one function
somebody asks

and the response arises:
it is simple

contact the silence
deep within yourself
and recognize incontrovertibly
that you don't know
anything
with certainty

then whatever is said
let it come
from this deep knowing
of not-knowing

then whatever is done
let it come
from this deep knowing
of not-knowing

then whatever is known
let it come
from this deep knowing
of not-knowing

this is how
silence functions

this is how
silence functioned
before knowing
was born
in your mind
and mine

Open to
the silence of
not-knowing

Open to
the love
of silence

Open to
the works
of love

Spirituality and Life

There is
no such thing
as spirituality
separate
from life

But we do
like to
compartmentalize them
neatly
into their own spaces
don't we?

It's nice,
is it not,
to go about one's life
as one wishes
doing what one wishes
and then
have that
meditation mat
or sacred space
to visit
for feeling cleansed?

We tell ourselves
we have
a nice balance
between life
and spirituality!

But this is
a travesty
for in this way
we sacrifice
something big and high
to something small and low

There is
no such thing
as spirituality
separate
from life

Any spiritual teaching
worth its salt
tells us this
over and over again

We listen
and perhaps marvel
at the wise words
but it doesn't register
that they are speaking
directly to you and me
So we continue
in our unconscious ways
dividing reality
into life
and spirituality

What humbles us
completely
what brings us
to our knees
inevitably
is seeing that
in any and every moment
life is touching life
spirit is touching spirit

In this touching
is the sacredness
that satiates
our deepest yearning
so that this moment
met fully
is the embodiment
of the whole sacredness

There is
no such thing
as spirituality
separate
from life

Life is
Spirit manifest
Life is
Spirit's magnificent offering
to itself