In the world and not of it

In the realm of thinking mind
our beliefs
shape our experience
and our experience
is our reality

With even one foot
firmly beyond thinking mind
something else starts
invisibly
to erode our beliefs
and change our experience

Then there is a point
when our reality
is independent
of our beliefs
and incredibly
independent of our experience!

And then so long as
we don't dissociate from life
but stay grounded
and allow our hearts
to be touched
by experience anyways

So long as we can laugh
and cry and express
our humanness freely,
we are the miracle
of the divine
living the human life
we live the miracle
of being in the world
but not of it

The Divine Mess of Life

We have
such a human addiction
to perfection!

We chase perfection
as our highest ideal
we hope that some day
we will get there
by one means
or another

Meanwhile
we screw up
again and again
and we notice
every imperfection
there is

We notice
when the world is imperfect
when life is imperfect
when everyone is imperfect
when we are imperfect

But just one
tiny glimpse
of what we truly are
shows us something
quite incredible

We come from perfection
we come from fullness
we come from wholeness
and yet here we are
in this limited package
called human form

This human form
is born
but alas it also dies
and before that
it falls sick
it suffers heartbreak
and much worse besides

This human form
is certainly not perfect

This human form
can see how much
of creation
is other than human form

This human form
is certainly not complete
This human form
is certainly not everything

Throughout its life
this human form
is searching, seeking
looking for something
it thinks it does not have,
constantly trying
to fill a lack

This human form
is certainly not whole

So this human form
imperfect, incomplete
and divided,
justifies its lust
for perfection

But something
is lopsided here
what comes from perfection
does not need to seek it
what comes from fullness
does not need to seek it
what comes from wholeness
does not need to seek it

There is no need
to chase perfection;
there is nothing
to be gained there
that isn't already here

There is no need
to chase perfection;
it is not meant
to be found
in this human form!

Now everything
can look different
This human existence
can be experienced
without trying
to make it perfect!

This human existence
can be enjoyed
without comparison
to a perfect ideal
It can be allowed
to unfold
simply as it does
without judgement
and resistance

We are not imperfection
come into human form
to seek perfection
in this human life

We are perfection
come into human form
to explore and love
imperfection
as our own self

What love this is!
Unconditional love!
Love that does not need
anything to be other
than what it is
Love that allows
everything to be
what it is

What love it is
to receive this love
What love it is
to give this love
What love it is
to be this love

Not needing anything
this love is dynamic
Not needing anything
this love spawns universes
Not needing anything
this love acts

And this human form
flawed and born from love
bows down low
in deep gratitude for
the divine mess of life

What dies?

We build and build
and build up
ourselves

We accomplish
and say
I did it
we achieve
and say
I did it
we acquire
and say
I did it

We diet
and say
I have control!
We exercise
and say
I have control
We deny ourselves
and say
I have control

We look good
and say
I am beautiful
We dress well
and say
I am beautiful

We are kind
and say
I am good
We help someone
and say
I am good
We are compassionate
and say
I am good

We remember God
and say
I am very good
We are pious
and say
I am very good
We pray and fast
and say
I am very very good
We engage spiritually
and say
I am the very best! :)

Ah but how much
of this I
this successful, very good, spiritual
self
can we take
to our death?

Isn't death
the end of that
built-up I?
Isnt death
the loss of
everything I?
Isn't that why
we fear death?

And isnt that why
we fear life?
Because we know
it is possible
to lose it all,
to lose the built-up I?

Perhaps
there comes a time
when we
might pause
in this building up
of I
and ask
What am I
if I don't
build myself up?
What am I
just as I am?
What am I
just as I was?
just as I have
always been?

What lives
and what dies?

Perhaps then
we can face death
in life itself
Perhaps then
as the Buddha said
we can die
before we die
and so finally
live once and for all

Don't seek to know

Don't seek
to know
what you are
You could seek
forever
and still not know
the unknowable

Seek instead
to untie
the knot
that has you believe
you cannot be
what you are

Don't seek simply
to know
the truth
and stop there
for what we can know
is always partial
and cannot satisfy
our thirst for fullness

Seek instead
to untie
the knot
that has you believe
that you cannot live
what you are

And when
the knots untie
themselves
seek nothing
only be what you are
live what you are
and so know
yourself

There is room

What distresses you
my friend?

Isn't it mostly
what your mind says
should not be?

The mind says
it should not be
and yet it is

There is room
you know
there is room
in the heart
for what the mind
won't allow

There is room
in the heart
for what the mind
can't understand

There is room
in the heart
for every
contradiction
and conflict
for every pair
of opposites
to co-exist

No no
shouts mind again
it is wrong
and I won't allow it

There is room
in the heart
for all of
shouting mind

There is room
in the heart
for reality
as it is

Recognize
your open heart
my friend
and receive life here
Receive life
in this home of love
and know your heart
as the birthplace
of everything

Just as you are

We worry
about being better
and kinder
or perfect

We worry
about being more active
more devoted
or working harder

We worry
about being more spiritual
enlightened
more embodied!

Can we hear
the little voice
in the midst
of all the worrying?

The voice that
only whispers
yet is so sure
and presents itself
without fanfare

The voice that says
It's not all about you
sweetheart
Enjoy the air
and the sky
and the birds
and the trees
and the ground
under your feet
always the ground
under your feet
You are bigger
than you know
by far
and loved
oh so loved
just as you are

Fearless freedom functioning

We are each here
to express our truth

For a while there
I thought
my truth
is not true enough
if it can be overridden by another
or ignored
or dismissed
or rejected

I thought
this pointed
to a flaw
in my truth

But my only responsibility
is to speak my truth
what others make of it
is their responsibility

I thought truth
has to be omnipotent
undefeated
unopposed
totally disarming
anything less
is just not the truth

But the power of truth
is fully its own
untouched
by outward action
by outward attitude
or reaction
incapable of being hurt
or compromised

Untouched
but not because
it won't let itself
be touched
Untouched
because
no matter what
it meets outside
and even meets fully
it cannot lose itself

I thought truth
cannot be walked over
or trampled
only the weak
and the powerless
can be wiped out
this way

But I forgot Jesus
I forgot what he gave
and what he received
on the cross

Even overpowered by ignorance
and outstripped by fear
the truth responds
with love

Walking up to
certain crucifixion
allowing fear to explode
into such emptiness
that each moment
each step
each blow
is received
in great innocence
without preconception
allowing
each moment
to die
into the next

Nothing and nobody
is held onto
and what is born
from such emptiness
arises from love
in love
as love
to love
It cannot
be known
in advance
but leaps into being
to serve
all there is

Jesus is
love manifest
fearless freedom functioning

Where shame and fear reside

Where does shame reside?
And fear?
and feeling betrayed?
or abandoned?

We think they reside
in an event
in somebody's action
in our own behavior
and even our own self

We think that
the fear is mine
my fear
the shame is mine
my shame
the betrayal or abandonment
is mine
all mine

And believing this
we draw them in
into our minds and hearts
into our beautiful bodies
we cleave to them
and they become us

But then they feel bad
and wrong
and uncomfortable
so we flee from them
try to escape them
somehow
run run run away
to some place good
and calm and positive
and manageable

We don't like bad news
especially right here
right within us
so we drink
we drug ourselves
we kid ourselves
we attach to this theory
and that philosophy
we distract distract distract
ourselves

We turn away
from our 'tainted' self
thinking salvation
is outside somewhere

And we would be lost
in this way forever
but for grace
and its messengers
exhaustion, courage and wisdom

It takes exhaustion
to stop running away
sheer exhaustion
lovingly forcing us to stop

It takes courage
to face the enemy within
the fear and shame
the abandonment
and betrayal

It takes wisdom
to drop all your weapons
to surrender
and to be led
within
deeper and deeper
not against the enemy
but with it and by it

For in the end
we find
that it is these
that we have called the enemy
which are the ideal companions
on this dark journey
the dazzling dark journey
into ourselves

As they lead us
beyond fear
beyond shame
and most importantly
beyond hope
to undivided love
untouched innocence
and dissolution
sweet dissolution

From here we see
with startling clarity
where the shame resides
and the fear
and the abandonment
and betrayal

They reside not inside
not in us
not outside
not in them or it
they reside in the way of looking
they reside in the perspective

The shame is felt
when we look at God
and find God wanting
the shame is felt
when we look at our self
and find we are less than God

The fear is felt
when we cut out
a piece of ourself
and believe it is the other
The fear is felt
in separation

The abandonment is felt
when we look at our self
and find it less than whole
We feel abandoned
in abandoning
our own wholeness

The betrayal is felt
when we look at our self
and choose to leave
for somebody else
or something
The betrayal is felt
in turning outside
in turning away

The mind- body
is an expression
of God
and like all expressions
it is limited

But where does
limitation spring from
We think and
we believe
that we are limited
because of a mistake
we made
or God made

When we look
through this perspective
we feel choiceless
like victims

But limitation
is no accident
It is the divine choice
to be
It is the divine emptiness
manifesting as
the particular
so that this amazing world
of experience
can be

Choiceless awareness
is the ground
and the womb
of choice and experience

So meet your self
your shame and fear
abandonment
and betrayal
as the choice it is
look from here
from the wholeness that is
and so discover
gloriousness
discover limitless self
appearing as you
and all things

Pain

Who knew
that pain
could be
such a companion

so moody
so demanding
so ready to tear me
apart

so loyal
so committed
so ready to hold me
in its embrace
over and over
and over again

so present
so exquisitely present
that I cannot avoid it
miss it
ignore it
or transcend it

so I do
the only possible thing;
I turn to it
again and again
I submit to it
be with it
be it

What was I
afraid of?
This pain is
a friend

This now

I am alone
but not lonely

I am empty
but not without

I am single
but not unwedded

I am constant
but not changeless

I am flow
but not without stillness

I am everything
but not without nothing

What am I?

I am you
I am you
We are one
We are that
Not even that
Just being
Just this
this now.

Love Manifest

What is love?
It is the seeing
of everything
simply as it is
without needing
to embellish it
or make it over
or change it in any way

What is love?
It is the being
with everything
simply as it is
without needing
to make it better
or make it look good
or tone it down in any way

Love manifest
is the human heart
beating strongly
quivering lightly
sustaining everything
by its fragile being

Love manifest
is the human heart
ready to live
ready to die
ready to plunge headlong
into what it knows not
for no other reason
than that is what it is
Love manifest

About thought

We think that
underneath each thought
lies an objective reality

We think that
a thought is actually
mind's articulation
of an underlying reality

We think that
thought is an outward
manifestation
of something that is actually there

In this way
we invest thought
with power
beyond its means

In this way
we create and inhabit
the world of virtual reality

Sure enough
thought-land is
a full-fledged mirage
capable of producing 'real'
feelings and sensations
But how real
is a mirage?
And is there not
something beyond a mirage
something that sees
the mirage for what it is?

A thought is only
a thought
nothing more
and nothing less

It can be as powerful
as a storm
when we invest in it
and as innocent
as a breeze
when we don't

The only thing
that lies underneath thought
is more thought
It's like there is
a bottomless thought cloud
floating about -
thought sustaining
more thought

Just like it is impossible
to exit a mirage
from any action taken
inside the mirage
so it is impossible
to exit thought-land
by means of a thought

Entering and exiting a mirage
happens by means
of that which is outside
the mirage

Entering and exiting thought-land
happens by means
of that which is beyond
thought

If life has brought
you to these words
and others like them
then you are already being nudged
by what is outside thought

Trust in that
to complete its work
without you
Simply step out of its way

To digest Buddha

When we admire beauty
from a distance
it feels good and safe

When we discover that beauty
to be ourself
it is sublime

We spend too much time
singing the praises
of beauty outside us
bowing to the divinity
of gods and masters outside us
quoting the great ones
to feel a tenuous connection

Perhaps now we can see
how unsatisfactory that is
like licking one's lips
watching another eat

Perhaps it is time now
for that great invisible non-existent chasm
to collapse

Perhaps it is time for you and me
to find the courage
to digest our own Buddha

Separation

Separation is a thin line
albeit very insistent
that says
I am this and therefore
not that
or I am this because
I am not that

But that line is erasable
It is tenuous
Don't assume that it
is your destiny forever
So question it sometimes

There is nothing so exclusive
that it can shut out
everything else
Separation is only a construct
in mind

When separation dissolves
we are open to being this one here
without being closed
to being that one there
for we are bigger than each of those
We are the infinity within which they arise

Knowing

I am the ground
I am the root
I am the trunk
I am the branch

I am the twig
and the leaf
at the farthest end
of the twig

I am so far
from the ground
so far
from the root

Yet as the tiny leaf
distinct from other leaves
and twig and branch
fragile and alone
I am connected
at all times
to the root
and something here knows that
undeniably, anavoidably, always

Tree of being

Solidly rooted
deep in the
primordial ground
of being

I move towards
the open skies
through trunk
and branches

Waving with the breeze
dancing with the storm
Sprouting leaves and flowers
Offering myself fully

Sweet being

Beingness cleaves itself
over and over again
so it may be aware
of itself
see itself
hear itself
taste itself
experience itself

Beingness cleaves itself
into seer and seen
so they may connect
via seeing
into listener and sound
so they may touch
via listening

Beingness cleaves itself
into you and I
so we may love each other
so beingness may love itself

And sweetest of all
beingness cleaves itself
so we may know
ourselves as beingness
so beingness may know itself
as beingness!

What else is here?

There is a time
in life
for problems
to be solved

This is but mind
unraveling itself

Then there is a time
in life
for a shift of attention
and for the question
to arise
What else is here?

What else is here?
besides the problem
besides the desire to solve
and besides the solution
if there is one

This is awareness
seeing itself
as mind and beyond mind

This is awareness
seeing itself as that
which holds mind

No need to be rid
of problems
No need for resolutions
They can be around or not

Something is more interested
in what else is here
beside the problem
and the solution

The time for solving
and the time for a shift
can be in any order
or even alternate for a while

Life lets us know
when it is time for what.

Flow

In the paradox
that is life
there is a tendency
to stagnate
again and again,

a tendency
for the water of being
to become little
cesspools -
stale and repetitive

And simultaneously
life in every moment
flows like a river
clearing out all stagnation

not as a static idea
but as a continual
dynamic flow
that is NOW

When the mind opens
to this dynamic now
gratitude arises
for stagnation and flow

Beyond imagination

In order for the new
to be born
the old must be let go of
completely

While the old is held on to
the only new that can appear
is a reconfiguration
of what has been

The ten thousand things
can be endlessly recombined
into what the mind
marvels at as new

The ten thousand and first
comes from the willingness
to leave the land
of the ten thousand

Beyond imagination
beyond imagination