Seeking is avoidance - Part 2

What are some ways in which we avoid seeing what we are by our very seeking?

I see 2 fundamental ways in which seekers avoid the truth - procrastination and projection.

Procrastination is about waiting for enlightenment to occur to us. It can take various forms. But usually the mind picks on some particular spiritual information that it has read or heard about, and either obviously or subtly, converts that into a pre-requisite for our enlightenment.

For example:

I haven't yet had a big spiritual experience. When I have it then perhaps enlightenment may set in.

or

I have had one or many memorable spiritual experiences, but they don't last. They come and go. When I have one that stays then I will be truly enlightened.

or

When I am finally able to be rid of my anger, and be loving all the time, then I will know that I am enlightened.

or

When I can make the time to do more meditation (or inquiry), and when I can learn to do it right, then I may have a chance at enlightenment.

or

When I find the right teacher and receive the right transmission, then .......

and on and on.

Is any of this familiar so far? Discover your own voice of procrastination. And see how it sustains the seeking. - Till you see that in this way we end up seeking only that which can be used to keep away the truth!

Projection is about putting the enlightenment onto another's shoulders. It's the you-are-enlightened-and-I-am-not pattern. Typically the teacher or someone else is held up as an exemplar that simply cannot be matched. The mind finds something unique about this enlightened other, that is then used to compare one's own experience with, and of course one's own experience always falls short.

For e.g.

This teacher talks about how they are in constant bliss. Now that is true enlightenment and it is simply not my experience.

or

I go from teacher to teacher and I see clearly that they have all had some extraordinary experience that changed them forever and that is not my experience and will likely never be.

or

My experience contradicts what the enlightened one says, so my experience is wrong. I can never be what she is.

or

Look at that amazing enlightened one! How could I (with all my faults) be the same as that one? What blasphemy!

and on and on.

Perhaps this sounds familiar? Check in to find your own version of projection. And notice if it is not infact used to reassert a comfortable belief - that you are not enlightened.

So why do we try to avoid the truth of what we are? Especially when we profess to want it so much?

It has much to do with the fear of realizing the truth fully. - The fear of disappearing as this ego-mind, the fear of taking full responsibility for everything, the fear of being completely alone, the fear of losing control and the fear of dying.

So what to do about this fear?

Nothing. Anything that is done to counter the fear actually stems from fear - the fear of fear. Instead we can take the opportunity to see clearly. Seeing clearly means seeing what is just as it is, without having to interprete it through the lens of judgement.

So when we see the various ways in which we are avoiding the truth of ourselves, then simply by that act of seeing, something starts to open up. It clears the way for a dropping of the resistance to the truth.

Don't expect this to be experienced in any one particular way. Discover and enjoy how it wishes to manifest in your own experience.

Seeking is avoidance - Part 1

Seeking is avoidance. Have you seen that in yourself?

Seeking is the dance between the deep desire for the truth and the avoidance of the truth, of what we are.

The desire for the truth holds our integrity. - That which yearns to fully meet itself.

The avoidance of the truth holds our resistance. - That which is afraid of what the truth may really mean for the I, for the body-mind.

The desire for the truth comes from beyond the I, despite the I. The avoidance of the truth comes from the I.

The desire for the truth bestows the grace of the breakthroughs. The avoidance attaches to the breakthroughs - the lack of them and the presence of them - as though they were the only truth.

Finally, it is the deep desire for the truth that enables us to see that we are in avoidance of the truth.

Seeking is avoidance.

Seeking is seeing the avoidance.

Seeking is seeing the dropping of avoidance.

Seeking ceases. The joy of continual discovery begins.

Nothing has changed. Everything has changed.

Heart to heart

When we look from the heart
Into the heart of all things
We find the same innocence
Everywhere

When we look at something
And miss the heart here and there
We find the same separateness
Everywhere

The price of separateness
Is the loss of innocence

The separate one does not deem this
To be a great loss
Nor a high price
To pay for its existence

But remember that separation too
Is born from the oneness
And the innocence
And returns to it surely

Freedom of Silence

The freedom of silence
Is not that it escapes noise

The freedom of silence
Is that it does not personalize noise