Connected

Connected to the roots of my being
I am strong

Now I can dance in the wind
giving in to its playful caresses
And when the rains pour
I can let myself be drenched

Now I can be the leaf that falls
and the branch that withers
And when spring rolls around
I can let myself be reborn

Knowing, being, what I am
I am stable
Now this body can be supple
and sweet

Stillness and movement as one

Birthing and dying as one

Knowing myself as the unknown

Sublime Union

At the root of awakening
is the yearning for reality
to know itself as
the formlessness it is

At the root of manifestation
is the yearning for reality
to know itself as
the formfullness it is

Form arcs towards formlessness
Formlessness arcs towards form

Like lovers reaching out
to each other
arms outstretched
they seek to know the other
as themselves

In their sublime union
is the beginning and the end,
and everything between;
the eternal dance,
always being always becoming

As form awakens
to its formlessness
it grows in its capacity
to express formlessness

Simultaneously
as formlessness awakens
to its formfullness
it grows in its capacity
to be expressed in form

Form and its formless ground
evolve together
The manifest and its unmanifest source
grow together
In the deep dark womb
of the fathomless depths

Goddess of the Dark

Goddess of the Dark,

Who are you?
why do you speak to me so?
Stinging my eyes with unbidden tears
Filling my heart with unnamed sensation
Calling my whole being to pause

I don't know you
You are not a destination I aspired to
nor do you fit any image I've ever known
Yet when you appeared on my horizon
I recognized you instantly
In the soundless depths of me

You give no direction yet
But I can feel you anchoring me within
Preparing void as womb
Even as you lead me to lie there and die
In your embrace

Goddess of the Dark

I feel your presence in me now
And your strength and your power
Perhaps now I will have the wherewithal
to let everything go
every last bit of it, good and bad

My highest ideal and my biggest fear
They are but two ends of one chain
that binds me to this world, this existence
I have to let them both go
I have to be prepared to die fully

Wake up dear fool

Note to Readers:

Hello!
I'm back - with these words that really resonated in my consciousness at some point, words that were addressed from deep within to the 'me' I thought I was!

They resonate again as I marvel at our arrogance as a human race, and what we are doing to ourselves, our mother planet and all her creations. And I see how lost we are, consumed by our arrogance, and how some part of us yearns to wake up from it too ....

Join me and so many others, in praying for the wellbeing of all sentient beings. Deep bows to you all.
------------------------------------------


Wake up dear fool
Wake up to what you know undeniably
Wake up to the truth
that won't go away
no matter how hard
you try to ignore it, cover it,
sidestep it, philosophize it

Wake up dear fool
To your inescapable fate :
As certainly as you were born
you will die
And not only that
but you have no knowing
when that will be

Wake up dear fool
and let that sink in
and sober you up
Let it soften your arrogance
and open your hard heart
Let it clear your blurred vision
and burn your false dreams

Let it strip away your complacency
and shake you out of your narrow self
So you may finally acknowledge
this life you have been given
Each moment in it
Each thing in it
Each one in it
For it will not last forever
And will all die with you

Wake up and tremble
with the rest of Mother's creations
For not one of your great achievements
can take death away from your destiny

If you cannot let in the fact of death
You cannot let in the fullness of this life
For then each moment is more clinging
from fear, and lining your prison cell
with more gold to distract you
from the truth

A glorious bird in a gilded cage
counting her treasures
but unable to fly
Wake up dear fool
This is no way to live

Tryst with Time

The full green
bounty of Summer
lived a while
and died into Autumn
enabling the birth
of spectacular Fall
with its riotous display
of unashamed color

Now the Fall
has begun its death also
And the glorious leaves
that adorned
the maples and oaks
are browning, shriveling
and being prepared to return
to the earth
where they came from

I love the Fall
it is my great teacher
It shows me
the dignity in death
It teaches me
about the necessity of death
for Life to continue
to renew itself

It is not worthwhile
to fight that
which is bigger than us
and seeks to devour us
for our own sake

It is worthwhile
only to fight that
which is smaller than us
and seeks to devour us
for its own sake

Watching the wind
sweep in
and stir up
the trees
Watching the leaves
respond to
wind's invitation
and give up
their attachment
to the tree
I weep silently
and acknowledge
the willingness
of my own wise heart
to die over and over again
to shed over and over again
to let go of that
whose tryst with time
is finally over

Love's beloved

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I see a world
that rejects love
and gorges itself
on a million flavors
of hatred

I see a world
that longs for love
but knows not
how to let it in
simply

I see a world
contorting in pain
twisting in agony
and so ripening
for release

This world
is in me
and I have known it
for long
intimately

I cry for this world
and its suffering
I cry for its fragility
and its coarseness
both

I cry long and hard
without hope
till I break down
into nothing
but tears

And then quite unexpectedly
from the tears
drained of hope
squeezed of self
love comes upon itself!

Love itself
in my scant remains!
A gift, a miracle
a thousand blessings
rolled into

One face
that I can no longer miss
whispering sweet nothings
into my ageless yearning
Bliss

fills the space
that I was
making new outlines,
like a master
painting his beloved

Mixing fire and blood
and tenderness
into new colors
that stain my bones
and form my skin

Love takes its time
crafting me anew
for some purpose
it knows
to be mine

Heart's truth

There is something here always
that knows how to be
with anything
with everything

It has always been here
But I didn't know

And then when I knew
I turned a deaf ear

And then when I heard
I still didn't listen

And then when I listened
I didn't quite trust

And then when I trusted
I still kept slipping back
into old ways
that didn't work
and don't work even now

But this that knows how to be
with anything
with everything
won't give up on me

Relentlessly merciful
it breaks into my body anyways
and teaches me
and teaches me
until I don't need to learn anymore
but just am it
without compromise
fearlessly free

The yearning

Throughout my life
I experienced
such a yearning
for I knew not what

It took the form
of anxiety, fear
unease, cravings
passion, ambition,
effort, struggle
dissatisfaction
dissatisfaction
dissatisfaction

I trod the beaten path
following conventional wisdom
as far as I could
until it yielded
its true wisdom
and I realized
that more of anything
was not enough
and would never be!

No matter
who I became
or what I did
or what I had
it wasn't enough
This yearning
wouldn't let go

I was stopped
in my tracks

Then the yearning
took over
and carved its own path
to fulfillment
showing me
where it springs from
and where it leads

Much was lost
on this journey
and still more
is leaving everyday

And what remains
is neither me
nor mine
just what is
This Now.

A whole new dimension of reality

No need
to take thoughts
as indicators
of our reality

No need
to take feelings
as indicators
of our reality

Truth is
there is always
Awareness
of thoughts

Truth is
there is always
Awareness
of feelings

Truth is
there is always
Awareness
of everything

Truth is
Awareness
is the empty
transparent
non-substantial
field
within which
everything appears

Awareness
is simultaneously
inside and outside
all experience

Experience is simply
Awareness
taking shape
momentarily

One way
in which
Awareness
is experienced
is okness

In experience
there can be
a continuous sense
of okness
through
any and every
experience

All experience
is simultaneously
intensified and lightened
by this pervasive
sense of okness

Initially
the okness
is far
in the background
of experience

The okness
is simultaneously
non-moving,
and moving
towards,
the foreground
of experience

More and more
the okness
is moving to
the foreground
of experience

Closing the gap
between
Awareness and experience
closing the gap
between
subject and object

Absorbing self
into emptiness
Manifesting emptiness
without intermediary
without compromise

Being in the world
and not of the world

A whole new realm
of exploration
A whole new dimension
of reality

Sent from my iPad

What you seek

You say you seek
unconditional love
Yet you look for it
in the arms of lovers

But the arms of lovers
come attached
with demands

You say you seek
undying peace
Yet you look for it
in peaceful experiences

But peaceful experiences
come to life
only to die

You say you seek
the unchanging
Yet you look for it
in the world of change

But the world of change
will not stop changing
for you

You say you want
to find
what you have lost
in the dark
Yet you look for it
in bright places
where seeking
is easy
but nothing is found

If you really want
what you say
then let yourself
be taken deep
into the mines
of your being
where the diamonds are

Even if the journey
be dark and lonely

For in the brilliance
of the diamonds there
that outshine
a thousand suns
everything else pales
and bows
into insignificance

Seeker and seeking
are burnt to ashes
and what remains
is the ever present
the undying
the unconditional
You

Here and Now

Space is
God's way
of elongating
Here

Time is
God's way
of elongating
Now

In truth
it is all
Here and Now

How jaw-dropping
is the sheer
Infinitude
that just these two
create

Time and space
dancing together
unfolding Universes
exploding
into worlds
of experience

Lifetimes of reality
woven from
the intersections
of time and space

All journeys
from Here and Now
to Here and Now

Only One
timeless, space less
Reality

Call it God
or any of
ten thousand names
It matters not a whit

All one
timeless space less
Reality

End and means

Note to Readers:
1. I want to differentiate between an end or an outcome on one hand, and an intention on the other. While we may have an intended goal in doing an action, I am calling that our intention. For the truth is that we cannot know with 100 percent certainty what the end or outcome to our actions will be.
2. This distinction feels true and important to me - because it allows for more honesty, and thus more humility in our actions when we acknowledge that what we have is our intention, and what we don't have is certainty about the intended outcome. Then intention can be very powerful in fusing end and means.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------/

End and means
like
the head and tail
of a dog
are inseparable

Granted,
head and tail
appear
to be separated
by the body
of the dog

Likewise
end and means
appear
to be separate
in time and space

But the means
shape the end
and the end
shapes the means
and each contributes
to the whole

In other words
how we do things
matters enormously
to the quality
of what we do
and to its sustainability
and wider benefit

We can look back
into our own experience
for evidence
of this

How we do things
makes us
who we are
and who we become
as much as
what we do

And what we bring
to any endeavor
above all
is ourselves!

The same tool
can be very different
in quality and impact
based on who
and what attitude
is using it

We see and talk about
the big movements
of life
but we live and experience
the small subtle
undercurrents

We measure and manage
the tangible things
in life
but we are measured and managed
by the intangible

So to summarize,
we are shaped
by our every action
and our every choice;
each of them
shapes
who we are
who we become

And in turn,
who we are
shapes
what choices
open up to us

And who we are
shapes
the nature and impact
of the actions
we take
and the tools
we use

This is the
indelible connection
between
end and means
between
tool and tool-user
between
action and doer
between
choice and chooser

Always Grace

Always
there is the One
always
there is Grace

In the beginning
there is one
in the beginning
there is the storied one

The storied one
knows himself
as his stories;
the storied one
knows herself
through her stories

Magically, stories,
unknown to themselves,
at some point
in time and space,
make room
for Grace

Now there are two;
there is the storied one
and there is Grace
and these two dance

How these two dance!
Back and forth they go
back and forth
back and forth
looking clumsy
looking graceful

Grace leads sometimes
and sometimes
the storied one,
back and forth...

And still they dance
and dance some more
seeming awkward
seeming fluid
back and forth
back and forth

Till the dance
dances itself out
till the storied one
collapses into Grace
and there is no more
pulling away

Now there is One
and that one is Grace
looking through
the dancer's eyes

Now Grace is dancing
And it looks like him
Now Grace is dancing
and it looks like her
Like you
Like me
Like them
Like us!
And all the while
Grace is doing a solo
for there is no second
Only Grace

No matter
how many dancers
only Grace
is dancing

Grace is one
and Grace is many

Always
there is the One
always
there is Grace

From Completeness to Completeness

Who knew that there could be a long winding journey from completeness to completeness!

We know this journey intimately. It is called human life.

It is a journey as though from one thing called incompleteness to another thing called completeness.

It is a journey as though from one place called source, to another place called destination.

When in truth source is completeness, and destination is completeness, and every step along the way is completeness.

There is only completeness.

There is only completeness and it experiences itself as incompleteness; who knows why!

Perhaps because it can?

Perhaps from wonder and self-amazement?

Perhaps to know itself? to know its infinite possibilities?

It is a divine mystery inviting us to explore its endless depths.

***

From the Ishopanishad (an ancient Indian scriptural text), my most favorite verse, one that sung to my heart and showed me the light:

Om purnamadah purnamidam
Purnat purnam udachyate
Purnasya purnamadaya
Purnameva vashishyate
Om shanti shanti shanti

loosely translated as :

Om
That is wholeness, this is wholeness
Wholeness arises from wholeness
Add wholeness to wholeness
or take wholeness from wholeness
What remains is wholeness
Peace, peace, peace.

or as Buddhism reminds us (I am paraphrasing) :

You are that
in the beginning
in the middle
and in the end.

***

As seekers we tend to forget this, as we imagine that we are trying to complete ourselves by attaining something currently outside us.

The momentous realization is neither an attainment, nor a reaching someplace else, but a recognition that we have always been that completeness, every step of the way.

We are that completeness, irreversibly, undeniably, and regardless of what we appear as.

And yet there can be the experience of seeking, of a journey, culminating in the experience of a recognition.

And from this recognition perhaps another journey can begin, not of seeking, but of self-discovery; of the divine mystery exploring the divine mystery in, through, and as, its infinite expressions.

From fulfillment

What if
you could see
that you are not here
to get anything
from life?

What if
you could know
that you are not here
to get anything
from anyone?

What if
you could trust
that you are not here
to get anything
from this world?

Not because
you should be
so independent
or self-reliant
that you disconnect
from everything
and everyone

but because
that independence
is your reality

What if
you could experience
this life
this world
its people
its situations
without
needing anything
from it
or them?

Wouldn't that
make this life
a real trip?
an exciting adventure?
to be enjoyed
to its fullest?

Not by seeking
to add
things or deeds
or experiences
unto oneself

but by being
present to every
experience
good and bad
as it arises

What freedom
to know
that you,
as you truly are,
could never be
destroyed
or diminished
by anything

What freedom
to live this life
not for fulfillment
but from it?

I am

We live
so much
of this precious life
in I should
rather than
I am

I should be there
but instead
I am here

I should
be doing that
but instead
I am
doing this

I should
be feeling that way
yet I am
feeling this way

I should
be that person
yet I am
this person

We may not
be saying or thinking
I should
but we may
be driven by
its energy
inside us

I look
at this tendency
here in myself
and learn much

Actually it takes
so much effort
to deny
this moment
and go into
the past or future

The mind
has to keep producing
I shoulds
to keep us away
from reality
It is hard work!

What reality
does I should have?
Look at it
for yourself
Is there
anything solid
about I should?
Is it not
wispy,
imagined,
ideated?

I am not talking
philosophy or
theology
but rather
what is most practical
and can be
observed
within oneself

What is
I should
except a thought
in the face
of I am

I am
by contrast
is real and solid
I am here
I am doing this
I am feeling this
I am

We insist
we are
not happy
with I am
and we say
we know
what I should be
instead

I ask you
are you
truly satisfied
with I should?
Is anyone?
Is it not true
that we just keep
replacing
one kind of
I should
with another
in order
to avoid
the I am?

I say to you
I am
is not static
or inactive
as we fear;
those are our untested ideas
about I am
The truth is
quite the contrary

In my experience
I am
is centered
restful
dynamic
alive
perfectly ok
with what is
in each moment

In my experience
I am
is driven to act
not for perfection
but from it

Give yourself a break
and everyone else
around you too! :)
Rest in I am
Discover its truth
and its power

Death and dancing

When we have
eyes to see it
we realize
that we are given
everything
so we may
open deeper
into living,
not an imagined life,
but true life

True life
that does not
begin with birth
nor end
with death

True life
that does not
skim the surface
but plumbs
the depths

of its oceanic self
to discover
that most precious pearl
- our humanness
our tenuous existence

for what can be
truly alive
that does not die?

And when we
put our arms
around dying
a million small deaths
everyday
we are dancing
in the lap
of life!

Living Silence

How to be in silence
somebody asks

and the response arises:
it is simple

don't say anything
that you are not
100% certain about

if you take that
to heart
and follow it
rigorously
why then
silence will be
all that is left

Everything around you
may be noisy
as ever
but silence
will be
your experience
amidst the noise

Then how can one function
somebody asks

and the response arises:
it is simple

contact the silence
deep within yourself
and recognize incontrovertibly
that you don't know
anything
with certainty

then whatever is said
let it come
from this deep knowing
of not-knowing

then whatever is done
let it come
from this deep knowing
of not-knowing

then whatever is known
let it come
from this deep knowing
of not-knowing

this is how
silence functions

this is how
silence functioned
before knowing
was born
in your mind
and mine

Open to
the silence of
not-knowing

Open to
the love
of silence

Open to
the works
of love

Spirituality and Life

There is
no such thing
as spirituality
separate
from life

But we do
like to
compartmentalize them
neatly
into their own spaces
don't we?

It's nice,
is it not,
to go about one's life
as one wishes
doing what one wishes
and then
have that
meditation mat
or sacred space
to visit
for feeling cleansed?

We tell ourselves
we have
a nice balance
between life
and spirituality!

But this is
a travesty
for in this way
we sacrifice
something big and high
to something small and low

There is
no such thing
as spirituality
separate
from life

Any spiritual teaching
worth its salt
tells us this
over and over again

We listen
and perhaps marvel
at the wise words
but it doesn't register
that they are speaking
directly to you and me
So we continue
in our unconscious ways
dividing reality
into life
and spirituality

What humbles us
completely
what brings us
to our knees
inevitably
is seeing that
in any and every moment
life is touching life
spirit is touching spirit

In this touching
is the sacredness
that satiates
our deepest yearning
so that this moment
met fully
is the embodiment
of the whole sacredness

There is
no such thing
as spirituality
separate
from life

Life is
Spirit manifest
Life is
Spirit's magnificent offering
to itself

Unchanging presence

What is given to us
can be taken from us

What we find
can be lost

What we create
can be destroyed

What is allowed us
can be refused us

But that which is
neither given
nor allowed
can be neither taken
nor refused

That which is
neither found
nor created
can be neither lost
nor destroyed

That which is
here
already and always
is here
through everything

through sickness
and through health
through joy
and through sorrow
through life
and through death
this prevails
which we truly are

Like the center of an earthquake
like the eye of a storm
we are
solid unchanging presence
right in the lap
of everything
that unfolds